Stop Sabotaging Your Life with Negative Self-Talk
Rewire your inner dialogue and break free from the loops that keep you stuck
I Didn’t Expect to Have a Spiritual Breakthrough at a Techno Rave
But I did.
It was on a humid night in Austin, Texas, in the smoking area, right outside the iconic music venue, The Concourse Project.
My girlfriend and I were taking a quick break from the show when a kid with glasses, a Hawaiian button-down, and a fresh top-hat haircut walks up and says:
"Guys, I came all the way to this rave from Canada by myself, and I just took 300mg of ecstasy... I’m scared. Can I sit with y’all?"
"You’re right here," I told him, patting the seat next to me.
Next thing you know, me and my new friend are sitting in lotus position right along the fence. Ravers are walking up and down the walkway, the sub-bass emanating through the ground, and the moon was the brightest I’ve seen it in years.
"Alright man, you ready? Breathe in for 4 seconds... hold it... let it out for 8."
I wanted to get him grounded just so we wouldn’t risk a panic attack. Now is not the time nor place.
The Story of Theo
Theo grew up in Toronto in a strict African Muslim family.
Tough, conservative, and religious.
So conservative they thought drugs were an instant vehicle to hell.
He wanted to escape Toronto. His friends were surface-level, he hated his finance job, and he was confused in life. He was 22 years old; he didn't need to have it figured out, but he knew his path was leading to nowhere.
"I saw there was a festival in Texas, and it looked lit and just said f*** it. I bought a flight."
The more he opened up, the more I realized how much he was like me. Even though at first I thought he was crazy, this extraordinary circumstance did not happen for no reason. I felt like he was mini-me.
Eventually, I told him:
"Man, you are here for a reason! I don’t know why but something amazing is happening tonight.”
“You really think so, man? It feels like I don’t belong here.” He said.
“Theo, I feel it, man. Now is your time to transform.”
The Words We Tell Ourselves
This story is all about the remarkable transformation I saw during that night.
I met a kid who flew all the way from Canada, who was confused, insecure, and in need of genuine friends—a little bit younger than me.
Before that show, I was reflecting on my own thoughts, and my emotions and actions behind them. Let’s call this our inner dialogue.
Here were just a few:
“My job sucks but I don’t know what else to do.”
“I live next to a construction site. It’s so noisy and there are toxins everywhere.”
“Dallas isn’t my home. I want to move back to Chicago.”
These thoughts might have truth, but most importantly, they are traps.
They made me blind to what was real, what was good in the world.
Even with all the breathwork and meditation I was doing, I realized that the thoughts that play out in my mind impact everything I do in life.
Before the rave, signs started to pop up out of nowhere, like podcasts talking about how the words you speak cast spells, how inner dialogue plays a role in epigenetic expression, how your mind is plastic via neuroplasticity, and the neurons that fire together wire together.
So I started asking why.
Why are the words we say to ourselves so powerful?
Why does one compliment—internal or external—shift how we feel?
Why does our inner voice shape our outer world?
Why am I so down on myself? What if I flipped the script?
Turns out, there's real science behind this.
Your inner voice impacts your neuronal wiring, your inflammatory markers, and even your DNA. Neuroplasticity. Hormones. Epigenetic expression.
It also impacts your spiritual side, what you manifest, your vibration, and much more.
If you want real transformation, if you want to actually change—you have to start by reshaping the story in your head.
The more you can tailor and train these components to your favor, the more you can change your reality.
If you want more success, more love, more money, more health, more life, it starts by what you tell yourself, and how you feel about yourself.
So I did an experiment to prove this. Theo was the Biohack with Jack victim.
Theo's Transformation
11:45 pm, Peggy Gou is on in 15 minutes, the ecstasy is starting to kick in for Theo.
I see his pupils dilated, he’s looking around, we are still sitting in the smoking section, more people pulling in for the show, stoners around us.
"Man, Jack, this is starting to hit. I took a lot. I don't know if I can do this, man."
“Theo, take a deep breath. Here we go: in 3 seconds, out 8, and breatheee.”
Out of nowhere, another kid came in.
“Yo bro,” he said in a Spanish accent.
“Bro, look at my eye. I'm so fucked. I took too much Molly, man.”
It was like a war zone of amphetamine bullets everywhere, everyone was rolling. I told him to sit down.
I moved closer to him.
“Breathe, brother. 3 seconds in, 8 seconds out. Woshhh.”
He looked at all of his friends and said:
“Woahh man, this guy knows what he’s doing.”
That was the first clue I got. Seeing how powerful the breath was to transform someone from a frazzled mind into a mind of control. That is one of the biggest levers we can pull when we are thinking in frazzled thoughts.
Breathing in for 3 seconds, hold for one second, feel your mind, your energy, and then let out anything that does not serve you. Try it now.
“Theo, listen up, brother. You’re great. You are right where you need to be, man. Tonight is the night you shape the rest of your life.”
He said something so beautiful:
“Jack, will you be my life coach?”
Tears ran in my mind, almost shown in my eyes.
“Where do we start?”
It starts with how we talk to ourselves.
We kept on breathing, kept on being grateful—great fuel for this moment, for this experience, for living as we should, our true freedom and inner life.
Then I told Theo:
“Breathe through your balls.”
He cracked his eyes open, confused.
“Close your eyes,” I said, laughing. “Don’t worry about that part.”
After our little sit-down session, we raved for three hours straight. My girlfriend and I ended up going to the bathroom, and we left Theo.
“Are you sure you're going to be okay, bro?”
“Yeah man, everyone is my friend here.”
Next time we saw him, he was dancing with a group of people—his new friends. That's when I knew it was time to leave.
What’s Your Internal Script?
A lot of us live under mental scripts we don’t even notice.
Thoughts we speak silently—or out loud—that shape our confidence, our relationships, our career, and our overall success in life.
Here are a few that might sound familiar:
“I’m not a morning person.”
“That’s out of my league.”
“I’m a mess.”
“I’m just lazy.”
“I’m too awkward to talk to people like that.”
“I’m not built for success.”
“People like me don’t make it.”
These thoughts might seem casual, even funny.
But they’re not just opinions—they’re programming.
Subconscious Programming
While your conscious mind can process only about 40 bits of information per second, your subconscious is downloading and sorting through nearly 11 million bits every second—all without you even realizing it.
Every thought, every word, every interaction—it all gets logged. And not just for memory’s sake, but to shape how you move through the world.
Every time you say something like, “I always mess this up,” you’re not just expressing doubt—you’re reinforcing a belief. And your body, brain, and nervous system respond accordingly.
It’s what people like Dave Asprey call childhood conditioning: belief systems formed early on that continue to steer your behavior—unless you become conscious enough to rewire them.
Because here’s the thing:
You can only outperform your subconscious beliefs for so long. Eventually, the story you keep telling yourself becomes the reality you live in—for better or worse.
Neuroplasticity
The more we do something, the more a specific neural circuit gets reinforced or molded, or atrophied. This is neuroplasticity.
That’s why when you’re learning a new skill, it’s hard at first.
But over time, as you repeat it, your brain builds a stronger neuronal pathway—and it gets easier.
The same goes for your inner thoughts and the words you speak.
The more you say something, hear it, or write it down, the more that message gets locked in. So if you’re constantly repeating negative thoughts or toxic self-talk, those circuits become dominant.
But the good news is: you can change that. You can build new circuits.
And with repetition, you can rewire your mind for growth, confidence, and clarity.
Epigenetics
Science shows that only about 10% of your genes are fixed.
The other 90% are influenced by your environment, emotions, and daily choices.
This is the science of epigenetics: the study of how your behavior and surroundings affect gene expression.
When you say things like:
“I’m always tired!”
“I can’t do this. Out of my pay grade!”
“Nothing ever works out for me.”
You’re activating stress chemicals like cortisol, which turn on genes linked to inflammation and survival.
But when your self-talk shifts—toward gratitude, self-worth, and calm—your biology follows.
Inflammatory genes turn off. Healing genes switch on. Your body starts operating from a place of safety and repair.
Your thoughts are chemistry. Your words are biological instructions. Your body is always listening.
So speak with intention—because your cells are paying attention.
Manifestation
At its core, manifestation is about telling your subconscious—and the world—where you’re going.
When you’re constantly saying things like:
“Nothing ever works out for me.”
“People like me don’t win.”
“I’ll probably mess this up anyway.”
…you’re training your reticular activating system (RAS)—the part of your brain that filters reality—to tune in to failure.
The RAS is like a Google search bar for your brain.
Whatever you input, it will find evidence to match. So if you're feeding it self-sabotage, it’ll go looking for confirmation: missed opportunities, rejection, reasons to give up.
Say “I always mess up,” and your brain filters in every rejection and mistake.
Say “I’m growing fast,” and suddenly opportunities, people, and ideas start showing up.
This is why high performers visualize success. They’re not just dreaming—they’re programming their nervous system.
You're building the blueprint first—internally—then watching reality reorganize around it.
Energy and Vibes
When your inner dialogue is soaked in heaviness—“I’m broken,” “I’m stupid,” “No one really likes me”—that energy radiates.
People feel it. Your posture changes. Your vibe gets weird.
And because we live in an energetic feedback loop, the world responds with more of the same: awkward conversations, isolation, tension, rejection.
That’s because words carry energy. Think about the word spelling. You could say words cast spells.
But here’s the upgrade: you can shift your vibe in real time.
Say something like:
“I’m grounded.”
“I trust myself.”
“I radiate calm and clarity.”
And notice what happens—not just in your thoughts, but in your body. Your shoulders drop. Your breath deepens. Your energy expands. And suddenly, the room feels different.
Your voice is an instrument. Every thought and word you play sends a frequency out into the world. Are you playing harmony—or noise?
After the Rave
After the rave, I got Theo’s number and told him we’ll hop on a call once he gets back to Toronto.
A couple days ago, I called him while he was walking around his apartment’s outdoor track, looking out at the Toronto skyline.
“Dude what’s up, how was your night after we left?”
“So amazing bro, you Texas people know how to do it, man. One of the best nights of my life!”
“So how do you feel, brother? Notice anything different? I really felt like I saw you transform.”
“Dude, it’s amazing. I feel like all I want to do right now is improve myself and become a better person. I really feel like I have a new perspective on life.”
And after reading this, you’ll have the real blueprint to change your life.
🔹 Step 1: Start Observing Your Inner Dialogue
Before you can change your inner dialogue, you’ve got to know what the hell it’s saying.
Most people live in autopilot mode—repeating old thought loops without ever stepping back to listen.
So the first step is simple:
📍 Become aware.
You don’t need to force anything. Just notice. Your thoughts are narrating your life 24/7. Tune in.
Meditate for 5–10 minutes a day.
Sit quietly and just observe. Let your thoughts arise without judgment. Watch the stream of your own mind like a movie. Notice when self-criticism pops up. Just breathe.Take a solo walk—no headphones.
Let your mind wander. Listen to your thoughts. Are you rushing yourself? Criticizing? Planning?Write down the most common thought you notice.
Just one sentence. Example:
“I’ll never be good at this.”
“No one really sees me.”
“I’m behind.”Ask yourself: “How does this thought make me feel?”
Sad? Anxious? Small? Hopeless?
The goal here isn’t to fix anything—yet. Just to observe. Like a scientist, not a critic.
The moment you become aware of a thought is the moment you stop being ruled by it.
🔹 Step 2: Build New Neural Pathways
Once you’ve noticed the script, you can begin to rewrite it.
This is where neuroplasticity comes in. Your brain is a living, breathing map that rewires itself based on what you repeat.
Every time you affirm a new belief, sit in meditation, or reflect with gratitude—you’re carving out new neural grooves.
Write down 5 things you are grateful for every day.
Include why. The “why” makes it real.
Example:
“I’m grateful for my friend texting me today because it made me feel supported.”
“I’m grateful I cooked dinner—it reminded me I can care for myself.”Notice the inner dialogue that flips the script.
Challenge your limiting thoughts directly.
If the old thought is:
“I’ll never figure this out.”
➜ New affirmation: “I’m learning and improving every day.”Listen to an affirmation meditation daily.
I like the ones that tell you to speak affirmations out loud.
“I am grateful for being alive.”
“I am grateful for the air I breathe.”
Inhale: “I am calm.”
Exhale: “I trust myself.”
💡 Do this consistently for 7 days and watch your baseline start to shift. You’ll feel more grounded, less reactive, and open to possibility.
🔹 Step 3: Rewire Your DNA
Your genes are like light switches. And your thoughts? They’re the hands flipping those switches.
Say:
“I’m stuck. I’ll always feel this way.”
…and you’re bathing your cells in stress hormones.
Say:
“I’m healing. I’m learning. I’m safe.”
…and you’re tuning your biology for growth.
Watch your inputs like a biohacker.
Unfollow fear-based content.
Follow clarity, humor, inspiration.Create a 3-sentence personal environmental affirmation.
“My body is calm. My mind is clear. My future is unfolding.”Nourish your sensory space.
Music. Candles. Nature. Ground your nervous system.Create your own legacy.
What do you want to be remembered for? How do you want to look back on your life?
🌱 Your thoughts are part of your ecosystem. Treat them like clean water. Keep them fresh, intentional, and flowing—and your whole being responds.
🔹 Step 4: Elevate Your Vibe
🌊 Action Plan
Do a 1-minute tone reset.
Speak your name out loud:
“I’m grounded. I’m safe. I’m here.”Curate your language.
Retire 3 old phrases:
“I’m just tired.”
“I suck at this.”
“People suck.”
Replace with:
“I’m learning to rest without guilt.”
“I’m figuring this out.”
“I attract kind people.”Create a vibe corner.
Sticky notes. Playlists. Mirrors. Anything that anchors your energy.Shake it off.
Bounce around. Shake your limbs. Tell yourself:
“I am shaking the energy. Cleansing my body. Energizing and detoxing.”
🎵 Your voice is an instrument. Tune it. Play harmony.
🔹 Step 5: Make It a Daily Routine
Forget big checklists. Use this simple positive loop:
🔁 🧠 Your Daily Identity Loop
Morning Reset (10–15 min)
Affirmation meditation
“I’m grounded and growing.”
“I trust my pace.”
“I’m figuring this out.”Gratitude journaling
“I’m grateful for my friend texting—it reminded me I’m supported.”
Daytime Reframe (real-time)
Catch negative thoughts and upgrade them.
“I’m so behind.” ➜ “I’m exactly where I need to be to grow.”
Evening Wind-Down (optional)
Reflect. Re-read your affirmation.
Remind yourself:
“I showed up. I shifted. I grew.”
🧬 Rewiring isn’t complicated. It’s just consistent. Do this for a week and notice how your thoughts, energy, and even posture begin to shift.
Final Words
That’s all I got for you today.
Self-love.
Love to the universe is all we got—and you are all doing great. I hope this helps you. Try it out. Flip the script.
Are those thoughts really true? No, they aren’t.
You are amazing. You are beautiful. You are a star.
Keep your energy high, and the gifts will follow.
Love you.
I’m grateful to my partners who create amazing health & wellness products.
Disclaimer. I am not a doctor. This is just some random stuff I learned on the internet. Pretend it’s a story. Ok bye.